What is love?
Love has always been a mystery…
Yet, one thing is for certain.
When talking about love, one can only put it equal to unconditionality: otherwise it is not love.
How come?
The kind of love most of us have known and have been brought up to understand is conditional in its nature.
This experience and expression of love is correlated with high emotions, such as constant butterflies in the stomach, euphoria, over-excitement etc.
Yet, there comes the withholding of this experience and expression of love that is on the contrary correlated with emotions measured by the other’s ability to meet one’s needs and expectations.
Most often this withholding or barrier to love is called „hatred“.
If the needs and expectations aren’t properly being met by the other, the „love“ disappears through this act of withholding.
See, this kind of love is conditional and highly based on attachment to the the other and to an outcome, which (in spiritual terms) is an instrument of the Ego.
The Ego can be seen as the sum of the inner child parts’ beliefs in one’s psyche. If the Ego’s needs aren’t being met, the love can quickly disappear. And conditional love is Ego-centered. Children are need-oriented, and so is our inner child. That is why love asks for emotional maturity.
Almost all of us can confirm that this kind of love is repeadetly portrayed in romantic movies and songs; when a person’s needs and expectations aren’t being met, the love can quickly turn into disrespecting, hurting the partner or even to seeking revenge.
Yet, this conditional love oftentimes has its roots in a lack of experienced unconditional love in one’s early child hood.
The first step is to become aware of the differences of unconditional love (or love) and conditional love (or attachment). The awareness diminishes the of the confusion of both concepts and thus allows the individual to grow emotionally.
Romantic love can be an added bonus to unconditional love, when lived and practiced healthily, but it is not love itself.
So then, what is love?
How could words ever describe love?
A mystery that is existing beyond any words to describe it?
Let’s try to describe it.
I would say that love is a state of being that is being embodied by the experiencer.
It is a state of wholeness within oneself and thus with existence itself; love is a completion, an erasion of any lack.
It is a „coming home“.
Love is unconditional, because it is the web of the Universe that holds all together; it is the Oneness of All.
Love is not a feeling or an emotion in itself. Love is the experience of having „arrived“ to a space and dimension beyond division within oneself and accordingly with the external reality.
Love is the Yin and the Yang combined.
See, there’s a difference of „being in love“ and being IN love.
The former describes the conventional perception of emotional highs and lows that is inaccurately associated with love. The latter describes a state of being fully basked in love, a state of existing in the love frequency.
The more one begins to be IN love, the more they’ll understand that anything apart from love is a barrier created to it.
When it comes to partnerships, unconditional love is what makes the connection established on the grounds of truth and unity.
Oftentimes, unconditional love is incorrectly being set equal to an inability to set healthy boundaries.
This one is important:
Being in the space of unconditional love will allow you to set healthy boundaries for yourself and for the other.
Operating from attachment won’t allow you to set healthy boundaries for yourself and for the other.
If one is in a connection that is based on dynamics of insecure attachments, and the circumstances become abusive, then it is very important for the individual to learn to set healthy boundaries or move away from the given situation.
Unconditional love and inability to set healthy boundaries are two different things that need to be separated to understand the true nature of love.
One can have unconditional love for another AND set healthy boundaries, because one’s love isn’t built on shaky grounds as it isn’t coming from an external source, it comes from within.
In short, the embodiment of unconditional love is coming from and being experienced from the center of the Self and does not have to do with an outside source of ourselves. It stems from one’s innermost. It is more of an embodiment of the experiencer than it is a result of a relation to another.
I wish for all of us to be fully IN love. ✨
Love,
Kübra
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